This week has overall been a good one, but also busy.
Two weeks ago I dyed my hair red and it came out much brighter than what I was aiming for. I was quite shocked, but thought I would give it a chance. Monday morning my brother stopped by with his girlfriend. They picked on my for my hair, which hurt because I was still getting used to it. Also, I had rehearsal with Salisbury Singers, as per the norm for me, and was feeling quite shy due to my hair. Most were shocked, but also really liked it. This helped me gain a little more assurance that I looked okay. I had one remark from someone in my section that did hurt, but shrugged it off as we hardly ever talk and get a long.
Dying my hair started the journey for me. This year I am hoping to change myself to be more confident and embrace life. I know life doesn't always hand us roses. I am grateful for the people I have met within the past year who have really made an impact in my life. They saying for "a reason, a season, or a lifetime" seems to be what I live by lately.
After going to rehearsal, I had a lot of work to do for school. Homework seemed to never end as I was taking a Film Studies class. The professor was pretty strict about things and seems to call you out on anything you say to find any error he possibly can. I didn't want to give him any room to find any error as I have been dedicated in keeping really good grades. I was never a good student in school due to having horrible reading comprehension. I have a strong work ethic and that has brought me to where I am today.
While doing homework and gearing up for the last week, I sat back and thought about things in my life. I knew that after this Requiem concert with Salisbury Singers, it was my time to move on. I was having a hard time realizing that I have to let go and let God point me to my new door. While thinking about this, I took the chance to figure out what is making me happy. Does singing with Salisbury make me happy? I have come to realize that it doesn't. I have really been making myself go to practices as it has been the only thing I have known for about 7 years.
I knew the week was bringing on dress rehearsals as the Requiem was being performed on March 7. I didn't go to rehearsl on Monday because I was debating on dropping out of the concert. I wasn't sure what to do as I didn't want to let go. I also came to realize that my back goes out quickly too which would make singing the concert extremely painful. Last minute on Friday I decided that I wasn't going to sing the concert and that it is time to let go. Time to move on. See where my journey brings me next.
Next issue I am facing is my car. For a while now I have bee having trouble with the transmission. Time to time the car will "buck" into gear from either a stop or while I am driving. This "buck" is the car changing gear. I got talking to a good friend who has been in Automotive Customer Service for quite a long time and he advised that the transmission either needs to be fixed or replaced. He also said that this venture will not be a cheap one, probably starting around $500. I am unemployed, so hearing this kind of news has weighed heavily on my mind and heart. How in the WORLD am I going to come up with this kind of cash? I'm trying to pay off my credit card so I don't ruin my credit and I HATE being in debt!!
While talking about this issue, I remembered how much I have been liking Chevrolet HHRs. I like the build of the car as they look very sharp to me and have an "old" classyness to me. Only issue is - I haven't driven one to know if I like how it drives. While up in Leomisnter this weekend, my friend and I went to the different dealerships, found and HHR, and took it for a spin. WOW! They drive sooo nice! Only thing that I am not too keen on is that it is tighter in the cabin than my Impala is. I loved the way the HHR drove and the fact that I was sitting up on the road. Things were much easier to see and loved the feeling. The car drove easily, had wonderful turning radius, and I came to like it much more than I thought I would. The only thing I am pondering is if the space within the cabin is too squishy for my liking. Then - another thought came to mind. Good initiative to lose weight? Maybe!
After driving the HHR, the salesmen and I talked for a little and they checked my credit. I figured - oh ya! THAT is going to be GREAT news! NOT! To my surprise, my record shows that I have GOOD credit! Holy cow!! I would be able to get a loan on my own - but, I am unemployed - so there goes that idea. So, it became time to make sure to talk to my grandfather and see what his take is on the whole thing. I got the talk that I was expecting. Now's the time to get all my "ducks" in a row and see how much the transmission job will cost and go from there. At this point, I would kind of like to just trade in this car. Only thing is, my car is in really good shape as I have taken really good care of it. I am just afraid the transmission will blow out and I'll be in huge trouble. I wish between mom and I that we could trade cars, but that doesn't answer the transmission issue. She has a lighting issue on the dashboard (they don't work) and my car has everything working.
More to think about, but only time will give the answers.
